Monday, December 9, 2013

Finding our " Beauty "


It's been a little over a year since we met our tiny Joeph and well I have been on the roller coaster of weight loss.  Don't get me wrong, while I was breast feeding Joseph, I dropped all of my birth weight and then a few pounds! I felt fantastic! my 6 week check up showed that  I had lost 26lbs! I was so excited when I saw the number on the scale that I texted my whole family! Then when I had to stop BFing Joseph (we will get to that some other time) I gained about 20lbs back practically overnight. It sucked. I wasnt smart about  it  either, I knew the whole time I was BFing J that I was burning an extra 500 calories a day, but I didnt make a single change to my diet.
I went from feeling good about myself, to feeling like a hippo fresh outta water. It wasn't fun. 

some women are serously blessed when it comes to their Post Body, and some women are blessed when it comes to being able to afford trainers and in home chefs.. and only eating 600 calories a day. Yes, Kim Kardashian..Im looking at you. 

Im not going to sugar coat it for you and tell you that "I Love my post baby body."because  thats not always the case. Yes, I have stretch marks up and down my stomach, and even some on my sides.. I almost thought I wouldnt have any... until the last month. But as I look at those marks while they slowly fade, I remember sitting in the kitchen watching my  Stomach move..side to side, Like J was reaally stretching out after a good meal. 

After we brought Joseph home from the hospital, I didn't even want to change infront of my husband because I hated the way my body looked. Yes, Hated 
It. I remember thinking that my husband will never want to look at me again. I've got this floppy skin and stretch marks , my hair was starting to fall out and I didn't look a thing like what Hollywood makes postPatrum bodies look like. 

So how do you become OK and accepting of the fact that your body will never be the same? You simply just have to. Yes, working out after your doctors Ok's is wonderful .. But let's face it ladies. We are our biggest critic and we need to stop. 

We will never truly see ourselves. We will always see an image in the mirror or pictures of what we think we look like, but to those who see us through their own eyes, we will never experience that. 

I myself need to work on feeling better about myself and to stop being so judgmental about my body and looks. I will fully admit that I have never been OK with how I look, and I have plenty of reasons why my insecurities really stuck with me. However,  This is the body and soul that God gave me, and I will one day fully love and appreciate it. 

Let's appreciate each other, Ladies! 


-Nicole 

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