Thursday, October 11, 2012

Take a step back

Recently, I've been on this kick of..
"No matter how bad you think you have it, someone out there has it worse."

Now, I'm not trying to preach and honestly I'm going to just go ahead and be a sour puss tonight.

But it's true, I was complaining at work the other day about a frustration that I was letting get to me far too much, and then a little girl came in.. She's fighting leukemia.
And you know what, I had to step back and think about why I was so upset. She has it far worse than I do. It broke my heart to see the look on her face. I felt so selfish.

So you waited an extra minute because the coffee shop was slammed this morning. Get over it.

So you hit all red lights and were late to work. Get over it.

Think about it, how many times a day do you let things get to you that really aren't that big of a deal?

Or how about just being grateful eh?
Someone does something nice for you, and it may not be done how you like it.. Just be grateful, maybe they were just trying to be thoughtful.

"To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant,
to enact gratitude is generous and noble,
but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven."
Johannes A. Gaertner

As for me, I am 100% guilty of many of these things. Remember my last post about how much I worry.. Yeah it's true. And honestly, I've been doing alright mood wise with this pregnancy.. I've been a happy little bee.. But recently, I've lost control.

"So tell me, honestly.. Do you like Nebraska?"
-No. Not at all. However , I'm thankful for the experience and the chance to see life outside of Texas and learn so much.. But I honestly hate it here.

I don't fit in. And I'm doing the same damn thing that I've always done, hiding behind my humor.

I just want to feel at home.
And right now, I am thankful for a roof over my head. A man by my side. A healthy baby boy who kicks me day and night. And I'm thankful for what the future may bring.

It's hard you know.
I left a life I knew for a life I had only heard about.
My family is the biggest reason I'm having such a hard time. I miss them. And I am thankful they have been taking my calls and emails and letting me make their ears bleed with my frustrations.
I didn't just move to another town, I picked up and moved 13hours away from home.
To be in the middle of corn fields and stressful situations.
That's life.
And you know what.. Someone out there doesn't have a home or family or loved ones.

Look, Every pregnant woman is different, every doctor is different. If someone tries to give you advice.. You simply say thank you. Even if you know it's not right for you and it's not something your doctor said. You be grateful that they care.
It's hard for me to listen to people who think they know everything about pregnancies and babies.. But honestly I have to remember, they are just trying to HELP.
Be thankful for that.

Ok so I got a little preachy and honestly, I wasn't even planning on getting on this subject, I'm just frustrated and emotional.

No one ever said it would be easy.
But I sure as heck am going to try to make the best of things.

"Everyone wears a mask, some of us just wear them better than others. You never know what they are going through or where they've been. So be kind and open your heart."-NLW

Good night Y'all


  1. Just an fyi i think you fit in perfectly...i know you hate it now but you won't always...there is no reason to hide either you are a great are always welcome to hangout with me even if adam isn't around and if you don't fit in to hell with them i don't fit in either and I've lived here my whole life

    Sincerely joey :)

  2. Awe thanks Big Roo! You know you're like family to Adam and I. I really appreciate you!
    I know it'll all work out, I just need to give it more time..and we'll you know about what's all going on as well lol.